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Examples Of My Jokes And One-Liners
I write all types of jokes, gags and one-liners, including topical one-liners, stand-up type material and cracker groaners.
You can read a few examples below.
If you would like to invite me to join your radio or TV gag writing team, are a comedian or stand-up looking for new material, or if you wish to discuss a proposal, contact me by email
I see they're going to make it compulsary for dog owners to insure their dogs against attacks.
Will it be Third Party, Fire And Fetch?
I think it was silly to give John Terry the sack. He’ll only jump in it with some old tart.
The Haiti charity song. Make sure you do your bit by downloading it illegally.
My mate Stan reckons a ban on cheap alcohol deals in supermarkets won't affect him.
Mind you, he is a shoplifter.
I hate to spoil it for people who have haven't yet watched the Michael Jackson film "This Is It", but he dies at the end.
Glee. It’s okay, but do they really have to make such a song and dance of it?
I like religious people, but I couldn't eat a holy one.
My wife agreed to pose nude for a photographer the other day, which was very strange.
She only went in for a passport photo.
Have you noticed that those warnings you get on packets of cigarettes are getting more direct?
I bought a packet the other day and it said “YOU F*CKING IDIOT.”
I went to a topless bar once. There was no roof on it.
Then it started to rain. It took me four hours to drink my pint.
A guy stopped me for directions the other day.
I soon told him where to go.
My girlfriend said she’d like to hear the patter of tiny feet, so I bought her a gerbil.
A spider complains at a restaurant.
It says: "Waiter, waiter! There's a soup in my fly."
A clown walks into a pub.
Barman says: "Are you trying to be funny?"
See also comedy sketches or sitcoms and other narrative comedy
All content © Mikey Jackson
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