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INT. JOB CENTRE. DAY.

JC LADY:
Harry Potter, have you done any work, paid or unpaid, in the last fourteen days?

DANIEL RADCLIFFE:
(A WEARY SIGH, THEN) It’s Daniel Radcliffe. And no. It’s common knowledge that I’ve done sweet FA since I finished filming The Deathly Hallows.

JC LADY:
Any particular reason why you’ve suddenly decided to become a lazy git?

DANIEL RADCLIFFE:
I am not lazy. It’s because I’ve been typecast. No film company will take me on any more.

JC LADY:
Harry, have you ever thought about getting a real job?

DANIEL RADCLIFFE:
What? No way. I’m a world class actor.

JC LADY:
That’s right. You keep telling yourself that. Now, how about a cleaning job? After all, Harry, you’re very good with a broom?

DANIEL RADCLIFFE:
(JADEDLY) Here we go.

JC LADY:
Or maybe a career in pharmaceuticals? You always could mix up a wicked potion.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE:
Give me strength.

JC LADY:
Or you could become a police officer, what with all those bad guys you’ve thwarted in your time.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE:
Oh, for God’s sake! You’re mixing me up with Harry Potter.

JC LADY:
But that’s who you are.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE:
No, I’m not. I’m Daniel Radcliffe, award winning actor. The sooner people realise that, the better.

AN UNCOMFORTABLE LULL. THEN –

JC LADY:
Right. There’s just one more question I’d like to ask.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE:
Fine, as long as it’s got nothing to do with the Harry Potter movies.

JC LADY:
It hasn’t.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE:
Good.

JC LADY:
Tell me. Was it difficult being friends with a ginger minger?