Harry Potter And The Jobseekers Allowance
Sketch about Daniel Radcliffe being forced to visit the Job Centre after Harry Potter has finished.

INT. JOB CENTRE. DAY.

ANNOUNCER:
Coming soon. The eight instalment of the Harry Potter trilogy. Harry Potter And The Jobseekers Allowance.

DANIEL RADCLIFFE IS SITTING OPPOSITE A JOB CENTRE LADY.

JC LADY:
Harry Potter, have you done any work, paid or unpaid, in the last fourteen days?

DANIEL:
(A SIGH) I’m Daniel Radcliffe. And no. It’s common knowledge that I’ve done eff all since I finished filming The Deathly Hallows.

JC LADY:
Any particular reason why you’ve suddenly decided to become a lazy git?

DANIEL:
I am not lazy. It’s because I’ve been typecast. No film company will take me on any more.

JC LADY:
Harry, have you ever thought about getting a real job?

DANIEL:
What? No way. I’m a world class actor.

JC LADY:
That’s right. You keep telling yourself that. Now, how about a cleaning job? After all, Harry, you’re very good with a broom.

DANIEL:
(ROLLS EYES) Here we go.

JC LADY:
Or maybe a career in pharmaceuticals? You always could mix up a wicked potion.

DANIEL:
Give me strength.

JC LADY:
Or you could become a top police officer, what with all those bad guys you’ve put away in your time.

DANIEL:
Oh, for God’s sake! You’re mixing me up with Harry Potter.

JC LADY:
But that’s who you are.

DANIEL:
No, I’m not. I’m Daniel Radcliffe, award winning actor. The sooner people realise that, the better.

JC LADY:
So tell me, Harry. Was it difficult being friends with a ginger minger?

DANIEL:
(STANDS UP) That’s it, I’ve had enough!

JC LADY:
Where are you going?

DANIEL:
(STORMS OUT) Back to Hogwarts to shag Hermione.

ANNOUNCER:
Harry Potter And The Jobseekers Allowance. Daniel Radcliffe is coming soon to a Job Centre near you.